THE 10 COMMANDMENTS TO BE THE BEST CLIENT

So you want to hire an escort for sex, companionship, to be arm candy, to travel with, to play video games with – that’s an expensive game; or a wide range of other personal reasons. Welcome to the sex industry, and in particular welcome to the escorting side of the industry. Escorts are a great option to hire for several reasons, ranging from a rebound from a shitty ex to losing your virginity within a safe, professional and hopefully educational environment. From just accompanying you for a dinner, to travelling with you afar. From joining a kinky couple to exploring a singles wild side. From joining the lonely old lady to the ever busy business man. Escorts see it all. There is not a lot that could surprise full time escorts.

Something that seems to be an issue is an understanding of what we escorts expect from clients as far as behaviour and standards are concerned. There are sights, pages, and forums that do cover a lot of what I am about to discuss; though with the growing interest of escorts, and the decriminalisation of sex work in Australia this type of information can never be overstated. We (escorts) are a business. We are humans. We have behaviours and expectations to upheld. And so do you the clients. These 10 commandments are guidelines to being the best client you can be, every escort runs their business slightly different, every escort is their own individual person, and what you are about to read are guidelines that most escorts would probably agree with. Bring your best self to the bookings and you give yourself the best chance at receiving the best service that, that escort can offer.

The 10 commandments to being the best client

1. DO NOT ASK FOR DISCOUNTS

While you may think that because in previous blogs I have mentioned that you should enquire about a providers service by asking respectful, thoughtful questions as you would when buying a washing machine, fridge or great bed; that you can ask for discounts the same you would for these products. This is unfortunately not the case.

Because while we do provide a service, and we are a ‘product’ we are also a human. And our services are much different.

Should you be seeing your provider on a regular basis – at least once a month for a minimum of 6 months, then sure you could negotiate a discounted price with your provider. We have a better understanding of who you are, how you will treat us, and the services you desire; you are also demonstrating a higher level of commitment to our business. This is not a guarantor message that you will ever receive a discount from any provider, just some words of advice for those who ask for discounts in life.

Should you be asking for a discount on your first interaction you will irritate your provider which in turn leads to a less pleasant experience for you.

Like I said, you may walk into a homewares & kitchen store and ask for a discount on a fridge, even working escorts have done this. Trying to bargain and learn how to negotiate within life is a great skill, timing is a key element in negotiating. Commit to your provider regularly before asking for a discount, that is the nature of this game.

Do not chuck a tantrum if they say, “No discounts”. That is their business and obviously if you have been paying them for the last few months they must have something you like.

DO NOT ASK FOR DISCOUNTS.

2. DO NOT SEND TIME WASTING MESSAGES

This is an occupation for us; and while we do have empathy and genuine care for you, your life, and your difficulties we do not want to be called in the middle of the day to ‘chat’, we do not want to be updated about your troubled marriage, your annoying kids, the dog that just won’t shut up because it has dementia at the ripe old age of sixteen.

We too have our own difficulties, wives, husbands, friends and family members needing things from us. This is a transaction. This is business.

 All this being said, there are some providers – I can’t be the only one; who have platonic conversations with clients and potential clients online from time to time. At the time of writing this I allow people to DM me through social media, and all that I confer with, understand to stay patient with my replies. Sometimes I am free for a ten-minute conversation, other times that same conversation may be prolonged out over a few days. For me, replying to DM’s is no different to the entrepreneurs who respond to emails of fans.

Other examples of time-wasting messages are, “How much do you charge”, shows you have done no due diligence. “Hi hru”. “Do you offer discounts”, explained previously. “Have you got any plans this weekend”, and/ or stringing the conversation on like you are willing to make a booking, with no real intention of making a booking. Genuine questions like, “What exactly is xyz service?”, “I really want to do abc, is this a service you are willing to provide?”, that contribute to the progress of the booking either happening or not, are acceptable.

DO NOT SEND TIME WASTING MESSAGES.

3.  PAY YOUR DEPOSIT!

Personally I have never had this problem, but it does seem to be a common issue amongst female providers. The potential male clients will show interest, ask good questions, send reasonable photos of themselves. Though the second the conversation of a deposit is made they ghost the girl. THIS IS TIME WASTING TO A T!

If you are a potentially new male client reading this blog, or any potentially new client at all; understand that some workers will ask you to pay a non-refundable deposit. Each worker has a different rate, and policy around their deposits. Most will let you change dates once if an emergency is to arise, others will make you pay the deposit again. These deposits are to prevent you from wasting our time. When you make a booking with us we schedule that time slot for work, you cancelling is an inconvenience to us and our schedule. Imagine if your boss was to ask you to work, you then decline a friend’s invitation to do something fun because of your work commitment, then the boss rings and says, “Cancel that day, I don’t need you”. You than ring your friend to say you can join them, only to find out that the activity is now full. Maybe you are the boss and own a company, imagine you have a business meeting with another company but then they just pull out for no reason at all, I know for a fact that most of you who own a business would feel annoyed. Things do happen and if the owner of the other company rang and said we have to reschedule the meeting my partner just died; an empathetic, compassionate business person would understand. Do you see what I am saying here. I also understand that some clients may want to pay the full amount in cash. Explain this to the provider and they can make the adult choice for their business. Again, if they say the deposit must be paid prior to the engagement, do not throw a tantrum, and either pay the deposit or just wish them a good day.

PAY YOUR DEPOSIT.

4. NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER APPROACH A PROVIDER IN GENERAL DAY TO DAY LIFE!

We have private lives, we have family & friends, some providers are closed face, some providers have other occupations, we may be with another client. Just as you would hate our wives, husbands, and friends approaching you & I when we are together; we do not want you approaching us when we are out and about. Please do not take it personal, you may be our favourite client, there is just one hundred and one reasons why a provider does not want you to walk up to them in public and start a conversation. Now look you’re human, I’m human; through the great serendipity of this world we might be standing at a same café at the exact same time, next to each other. Should a provider be appearing alone in line I personally do not see any harm in starting a PLATONIC conversation with a STRANGER. “Oh wow, you’re a handsome young man”, “You have pretty shoes”, “I like your hair, did you get it cut recently?” small little compliments that DO NOT REVEAL anything about us, and allow us providers to remain ‘unseen’. Should we answer with short answers, or seem uninterested in the conversation do not take it personally. We may be with a client you can not see, we may be on our way to a client, we may just not want to engage in conversation.

Should the provider return friendly conversation do not reveal the fact that you & they have a private escort, client relationship. Do not ask if you can make a booking. Do not ask us when we are free next. Keep it simple, talk about your day, the shoes that caught your attention, maybe an event that is on, the coffee shop that you are currently at.

NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER APPROACH A PROVIDER IN GENERAL DAY TO DAY LIFE!

5.  Hygiene

Unless you have made prior arrangements to see the provider in dirty, old, sweaty clothes; please present yourself respectfully and hygienically. Clean clothes, clean body, oral care. Really simple basic things that you should be doing before any date. Some providers may still ask you to shower again, and to use the mouthwash they supply, do not argue or complain, it’s part of the process for most providers. If you are intending to have a sexual booking with kissing; brush your teeth a few hours before that experience, not directly before. As I have recently learnt myself, brushing your teeth can cause micro cuts, which can lead to transmission of dieses more easily. Experienced providers will have a good gauge whether you are clean or not and sometimes may begin the booking without asking you to shower. Again, do not argue with the provider or make a fuss over it, just do as they ask.

HYGIENE.

6. Sobriety

Please do not arrive to the bookings overly intoxicated. This includes but is not limited to being drunk, being high on meth, cocaine, copious amounts of weed, LSD, mushrooms etc. Some of you have probably just read a couple of those substance and thought, “What the fuck, here comes the fun police”, and look there is a reason that sex is the first word in ‘sex, drugs, rock & roll’, and if you have followed me for a while you know a little about my story – a couple bongs or a doobie never hurt; when times are desperate a Coca-Cola can works wonders (stoners will understand); I have been known to bake the best brownies; I’m a ‘bad boy’ and partied over my years. I have disassociated myself with that lifestyle, though I’m not a prudish saint. As a professional though I highly recommend being sober for bookings with escorts. We need you to be cognitive for one hundred and one reasons, and apart from weed, those other drugs have the potential to have some seriously negative side effects, especially if you lose control. Being with someone stuck in an unstable psychosis is dangerous and scary.

A little while ago I had a client who was a heavy alcoholic, and I did not find this out until I arrived. For the most part she was a lovely lady and quite attractive. We had relatively normal conversations, her texting was completely normal, she was cognitive, she was able to clearly consent and communicate. Though when things became a little uncomfortable for me and I said that I had to leave I was aggressively told that I was a bad person, and to fuck off. She then later apologised and asked to see me again, I agreed providing she had a glass of water for every glass of vodka she had. She was a good girl. The reason I am telling this story is for two reasons; (1) the educational purpose of workers, (2) to educate clients on the risks. A lot of people within this world (earth) use substances, smoke cigarettes, and have vices; either as copying mechanisms, stress relief, or an escape from their reality. As a provider you need to be aware of this and make your own judgements for your own self about whether or not you service people with such vices. Some workers do not, some do. Let’s imagine that my client was a cocaine addict or ice addict and when I said I was uncomfortable and was leaving, she became violent instead of verbal. While drunks & alcoholics can be equally violent & dangerous, from my experiences they are a little less coordinated than those on substances like cocaine and ice. If you know anything about those two drugs you will know what I am talking about.

Should you be a client using these substances you put yourself at risk when hiring escorts. What if you hired a bad person who was selling themselves as an escort, you pass out drunk, wake up and all your valuables are gone. That would be horrible!

SOBRIETY.

7.  Treat the escort how you want to be treated

Would you like an irritated, miserable, arrogant provider? And not in the consensual way where you’ve asked for a spanking and dirty words. The kind that complains and nags about everything you do wrong, the kind that sits on their phone the entire time, the kind that says I’m going to pleasure you for fours but then jack hammers you for ten minutes. Would you like your escort arriving to a booking stoned off their face & drunk? 95% of clients answered no to that last question. So, we (escorts) need you not to be an irritated, miserable, arrogant client. Just some basic respect really. No man whore/ slut shaming! No trying to cut the bill! No taking videos & photos without our consent! Do not threaten our identities if we are closed face! I don’t know what’s worse, man whore/ slut shaming; or the fact that you are willing to pay for a man whore/ slut in the first place…..

Should the escort not live up to your expectation, that is unfortunate, do not see them again. This is why if it is your first time hiring someone, I recommend only paying for two hours. Two hours allows a comfortable amount of time to become acquainted and settle the nerves with conversation and a massage, the sex, and the aftercare. Should you just desire companionship for the first booking, two hours is a great time to have a good conversation and gauge whether or not the escort is someone you could spend time with. Sometimes escorts are like an expensive brand of shoes, they look great, but they just don’t fit your foot or give you blisters. Should you have the spare cash and intend to have a long term relationship, then a longer eight hour booking would be the best booking length for first time interactions because you will develop a strong sense of whether the escort you hired is the right escort for you.

TREAT THE ESCORT HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED.

8. Be punctual

Should the booking time be arranged for 7:00pm, be at the rendezvous at 7:00pm. if it’s a hotel booking and you’re waiting in your room not the lobby, I would say that is acceptable. Do not make the escort wait in the lobby for hours on end. There are very rare cases where for whatever reason the booking is delayed, simply contact the provider as soon as you know there will be a delay, apologies and give them an eta. The provider may at their full disclosure decline the booking and leave, or ask for a waiting fee/ extension. This is where showing the provider respect with your initial enquiry and messages is important; should you have sent all the information the escort asks for, a clear photo (if they request one), and paid your deposit you will most likely have an escort more willing to wait for you. Should you have complained, nagged and tried to cut the fees the worker will be irritated and be less inclined to stay.

If you leave the provider waiting longer then fifteen minutes without an update and information regarding your whereabouts, they have every right to leave the rendezvous and keep the deposit. My rule after my one incident became if you are more than fifteen minutes late to the rendezvous without a legitimate reason, I will be excusing myself.

You would be irritated if your escort arrived late. Escorts become irritated when you arrive late. WE ARE NOT SLAVES!

BE PUNCTUAL.

9. We do not want to date you

Genuinely good escorts, that enjoy their work adore their clients, we have a deep-rooted empathy, we enjoy making you smile, we enjoy giving you a space to adventure your sexuality and so much more. What we are giving you though is a fantasy, or at least the very best version of ourselves. We are not Tinder, we are not eHarmony, we are escorts. We are not going to stop doing this line of work to be with you; we aren’t lonely and depressed; we have our own sexual, intimate, psychological needs; We have things that we do not show.

Thankfully I haven’t had to face this scenario yet, talking to some female providers apparently it is quite common. How would you be able to handle the fact that we will continue to do this work? You are not going to ‘save’ us. We do not need ‘saving’ – well most of us don’t. Save yourself the stress, strain, and sanity, and leave this as an escort client relationship

Have you experienced family troubles, relationship troubles, employment troubles or any other troubles?

Fun fact. We escorts have those things too. We may not talk about them like you, which you need to respect if we choose not to, as we do you. But surprise, surprise we too take the rubbish out, go to the toilet, have a family that is nagging us, a friendship circle that need us, and a range of other normal life things. Escorts are either a fantasy character or our very best selves. Not your lifelong partner.

WE DO NOT WANT TO DATE YOU.

10.              Educate yourself

Educate yourself on sex work, escorting and STI’s. doing this will aid you in being respectful of what we do and the services we provide. Instagram pages like ‘The Good Client Guide’ provide a great stepping stone for the education clients need - https://www.instagram.com/thegoodclientguide/

You do not need to be an expert, you just need to demonstrate to us providers that you care enough about the experience to learn. You care enough about the business relationship that we share, that you will make us feel safe. Demonstrate to us that you value us. Demonstrate that you genuinely want us to be there. Demonstrate to us that you are looking at a person, and an individual not just a novelty sex doll. You can be quirky, you can be yourself, you can be different, just be your best self, your most well-mannered self – saying please, thank you, bless you, pardon me goes a long way. Even my alcoholic client mentioned earlier had great manners. Most professional escorts accept & welcome your differences, you are you; we just also want to be treated like a person too. When you educate yourself on sex work, escorting, being a client, STI’s, and sex as a whole, you will theoretically behave in a much more appropriate manner with your escort. You will begin to see the importance of this work, and how we are not just objects of penetration. We too want to feel like we actually matter, and that we are adding value to someone else’s life.

Begin educating yourself on sex, sex work, consent, STI’s, and human nature to help bring your best self to the booking, giving yourself the best chance at a good time.

EDUCATE YOURSELF.