Questionable Kinks: The DDLG & MDLB (Daddy Dominant Little Girl. Mummy Dominant Little Boy)

A mothers nurturing touch, a fathers disciplined love. Something that we all crave in one way or another at some point in our life. We crave being accepted, appreciated and acknowledged by these two figures the most because they are the two beings that created us and meant that we have an existence within this universe.

DDLG & MDLB stands for Daddy Dominant Little Girl & Mummy Dominant Little Boy; and is a dominant submissive kink relationship dynamic where the daddy or mummy dominant acts as a nurturing figure to lead the relationship & dynamic. Within this blog I intend to educate you on how this dynamic can be great for people who may have experienced some minor – moderate levels of trauma in relation to their relationships with their parental figure(s); how playing the role as a little can help you connect with your inner child – which I believe plays a pivotal role in being a mature adult; what the dynamic could look like; remove stigma’s behind the dynamic; how you could have a kinky, fun DDLG or MDLB relationship as an adult; talk about the lines that are being blurred and are borderline promoting some very dark behaviour.

I am a heterosexual man and the contents within this blog will be used in the context of a heterosexual Daddy Dominant Little Girl, and Mummy Dominant Little Boy. I do not know if the information within this blog still applies to the homosexual demographic, please leave a comment below if you believe what I have to say still applies to such demographic.

This blog has also been written from a generalised societal view. If you have experienced EXTREME levels of trauma such as rape, molestation, being beaten as a child, growing up in harsh environments where heavy and/ or hard drug use took place, or experienced extreme levels of abandonment, than the information within this blog may not apply to you. Regardless of the severity of any trauma you experienced or have, from minor - extreme please do not use the information within this blog as a mechanism to fix, heal, or overcome any trauma without doing your own research, evaluation, and speaking to a professional. I have shared my story of abandonment after experiencing what most would call a fairly good, standard Australian childhood. I have had multiple psychological sessions with a well-trained psychologist/ sexologist; incorporating my own research and experiences with these sessions has given me the knowledge about this subject and how it can be a fun, beneficial, great kink dynamic, and when executed correctly can make you both better adults.

The child

Innocent, pure, free spirited. Just like dogs I do not believe there are such things as bad children, just bad parenting. Obviously there are psychopaths – people who are born killers, but those people are few and far between. The child really is the symbol of innocence, purity, and the free spirit. They will tell it straight as they see it without any bullshit, they are the worlds greatest negotiators, they have no concept of the greater picture, and they just live in the present moment. On the other side of the coin, they are pains in the arse, they require caring for a number of years – if you left a two year old outside alone in your backyard there is a chance that they could get seriously hurt or die; they are also an added responsibility to think about and plan for – they do make life harder to enjoy adult things as an adult.

Until the nineteenth century the childhood was barely considered an important phase of life, though I would argue that it wasn’t until the twentieth century that the term we know as a childhood really cemented it’s place as a societal phase in life. For a long time though philosophers had raised the debate that we need to nurture the development of children, and place importance on this phase of their lives. Some people may believe that children should be out working as young as possible as there are plenty of ‘strong’ societies within history that put children to work as young as possible, or welcome to life you may as well start now. And while I do believe that the education of responsibility, maturity, mannerisms, right from wrong, and slowly learning what it means to be a mature adult are vital through adolescence; I also strongly believe that being able to experience a childhood is equally or even more important to the growth, development, and the improvement of the individual and society.

The reason I started this blog off with a brief description of the child is because obviously this conception of childhood, this period of life, this ‘character’ if you will is obviously a big part of the dynamic. And unfortunately some people seem to forget the difference between an adult & a child. And so when you enter into this dynamic it is not about being a child with an adult, but connecting with that inner child and being a nurturing, caring yet disciplined and strong dominant. For example; do you feel like a princess when you go to a beauty treatment? Do you like tiny things and tiny collectables? Do you like plush toys? do you collect football cards? Collect comic books or figurines? Do you still thoroughly enjoy video games? Did you used to be a really good BMX rider or surfer and now are unable to find the time? Do you have fond memories of playing basketball down at a local basketball court?

For the dominant; do you enjoy improving people and helping them become better? Do you have a big teddy bear inside of your regularly ridged personality? Do you genuinely enjoy caring for someone or something else? Answering yes to any range of these questions or those associated are the hallmarks of a good HEALTHY DDLG & MDLB relationship because you are connecting with your nurturing capabilities as the dominant and bringing back positive memories, experiences and emotions that you may have lost through the everyday tribulations of life.

The child is vital to the survival of society! Quite literally no children, means no adults, means no society, means the end of time. And if you hate society that much that you’re trying to end it all, you have a range of other countries, species, and civilisations that will happily let you end your society so that they can build theirs. Either the whole world blows up, one society will take care of their next generation to prosper and survive, or a unity can be formed. Imagine a world where everyone actually cared about the next generation. As we mature, grow and age through life, we can lose touch with ourselves through adult responsibilities: Being at the office by 9am; spending half the day in traffic; listening to other people’s success while you feel like you’re drowning; taking your kids to school, classes, and training – if you have kids; you have been single for five years now and think your cats will eat your dead corps before you find the love of your life. Finding and reminding yourself of those little things inside that make you giddy, evoke nostalgia of great memories, and make you feel young again, are essential to a less depressive and mentally straining life. The truth is we all need to grow up, we all need to mature, that doesn’t mean that we can’t bring some of those old memories with us. These things could be: glitter; football cards – guilty; tiny collectables; plush toys; visiting significant places like a go kart track you and your mates use to always race at.  

Lastly; not everyone likes kids per say. Just like some people don’t like cats, don’t like dogs, don’t like brussel sprouts. Simon Cowell said in his book ‘I Don’t Mean To Be Rude, But…..’ something along the lines that he thinks kids are cool, in other people’s houses, he can handle a friends kid for twenty – thirty minutes but then they go back. I say this respectfully as someone who does aspire to have kids of my own one day, they have a period of being useless, naïve, clumsy, and require a lot of attention, care and work; and there are people who do not want to spend the time, money, and effort putting up with this period.

The parent

As someone who was fortunate enough to experience a parent’s genuine love from both mum & dad, I must say that it is one of the most wholesome forms of love to receive. Should you have experienced that genuine care and love too you would know exactly what I am talking about, and would you agree that you do not always value it until you are an adult? The sacrifices, the pick you ups when you’re down, the punishments of when you were a little shit – obviously you don’t think to yourself, “The time I was grounded for a month was fantastic”; but you are thankful that some order was established because now as an adult you have an understanding that there are consequences for bad behaviours. In Australia it is quite common to talk to people around my age (26) and older who copped a belt, a slap across the face, and a smack over the head. I heard from one acquaintance in my time that his brother started smoking cigarettes and so his parents sat him down at the dinner table, gave him a fresh packet of smokes and said you’re not leaving until you finish that packet of smokes. Is that bad parenting? That’s not really mine or your place to say; he never smoked cigarettes again. That’s how I quit smoking, smoking a packet of 25 Peter Jackson menthol hybrids while driving for two days.

Being a parent can be extremely difficult & stressful in today’s society because you have one person saying you can’t do this; another saying you must do that; another saying how dare you do that; another person is telling you that you’re doing great, meanwhile your kid is the one running the household not you. Through this process and the day to day tribulations mentioned above it can be quite easy to lose touch with yourself and enjoy some time being an adult, which is pivotal to your own wellness as a parent. If you have no kids what is preventing you from being an adult & enjoying life as an adult? Not a lot. Personally I do not believe there is a right and wrong way to parent as such; providing that the structure of who is in charge, who sets the order and rules, and who is the adult and who is the child is understood. Not through malicious and malevolent intent, but through rewards, punishments, and habits. They finish their homework for the week on time they receive $20 into a savings account they are gifted for their eighteenth birthday. They wash the dishes all week you buy them their favourite drink at the end of the week. They exercise three times a week for the entire month and you take them to the beach. They swear and they go to time out – if you’re the one that’s inducing that language you have to find a way not to be hypocritical, kids are smart sponges. Maybe they are found to be a bully at school, ground them, make them do extra chores and take away their phone while they’re at home. They sneak out to a party without your permission make them cook dinner for the month and ground them from going to social outings with friends for that same month. Once punishments have passed forgive and move on. If they are repeat offenders that is above my pay grade.

The reason for both of these discussions of ‘The Child’ & ‘The Parent’ being discussed before diving into the kink side of things is to demonstrate my level of competency, emotional intelligence and where my head is at with respect to this conversation. If I was to just type the mummy & daddy dominant role just plays at our natural hypergamy for someone to care for us then this blog would be pointless and a waste of time for everyone and not actually educate people on how to have a HEALTHY DDLG & MDLB relationship as adults. What I believe is important to a happier, less depressing, more fulfilling life is accepting the fact that we must grow up, we must mature, we must take on responsibility, we must be adults and be able to respectfully enjoy adult things; while also maintaining some of our earliest memories that positively impacted our lives. I do believe that both nuance and experienced kinksters will learn and/ or agree with what I say in this blog.

Daddy & his princess (little girl)

I’ve chosen to paragraph the dynamics with their reciprocal opposite (Daddy Dominants & Little Girls, Mummy Dominants & Little boys) rather than the top dominants together & the bottom submissives together because I believe that the roles of DDLG & MDLB are slightly different. While both mummy & daddy are the tops, I do believe that the lessons and rewards that most daddy’s confer their princesses are different to the ones that mummy’s confer their princes’.

The traditional role of a Dad. To be the disciplinary, the strong, the protector, the problem solver, the rectifier. The traditional role of a good dad is the man of a daughters dreams, just as the mother is traditionally the perfect archetype the son is always chasing. So put into kink language and this dynamic, a daddy is the one that enforces order, educates, structures, protects, helps solve problems; while also giving his little a more nurturing type of affection, attention, and care compared to other dominant relationship dynamics. This affection, attention, and care is without the sex. This may look something like washing your littles hair for her; this may be taking two minutes out of your day to look at the new shoes or clothes that your little has brought home; maybe it is sitting down with your little to help solve a problem they face in their life; maybe it is paying for her coffee date with her girlfriends.

“Okay I’m reading this and my man already does some of those and we do not identify as daddy dominant & little girl?” Awesome, that is wonderful to hear, that could just indicate that you have yourself a man who takes genuine interest in what you enjoy, and realising or not you have a healthy relationship with your inner selves.

I want to take the focus of the dynamic away from the sex for the time being and focus on other areas of the relationship. For now I want to focus more on the non-sexual activities, the rewards & punishments around the DDLG dynamic.

What reminds you of being a little girl? Going for a leisurely drive to a café for ice-cream? Cuddling up to daddy for a Disney movie? Making a castle out of chairs, sheets, and pillows? Forcing your dad to put on the princess Tutu and play tea cup party? Going for a picnic?

What were some of your favourite toys? Did you like collecting things? Do you have a favourite place to visit? Maybe a certain beach, or going for a bush walk, or a drive to a café for ice cream. Did your dad take you shopping and help you style appropriately?

When you enter into a Daddy Dominant Little Girl relationship this is the type of thing you must openly & honestly discuss. This is how the woman playing the role as the little communicates her childhood memories that lighten up her life or that she wishes she did more of, conferring the daddy dominant knowledge of things to do for fun, rewards, and punishments. Now let’s say that one of the littles favourite memories was when her dad would dress up as a fairy princesses and go for a picnic at the park, you as an adult dominant may say that you are not going to dress up in a fairy princess outfit for her, that is your hard no limit, nor does she as an adult want that. Though you could still go down to a local park and have the picnic with one of those feminine wide brim hats and some feminine glasses and play some fun games, talk about nonsense, enjoy some tea, and embrace the inner feminine on some level. And look you don’t need to wear the silly hat and glasses if you really don’t feel comfortable, just find a way to show the big teddy bear inside. I’ve posed the question to a couple masculine fathers, “If your daughter wants you to put on a fairy princess dress and play tea cup party, what would you do?”, “You put the fucking tutu on” is what most said, there are also countless memes of this exact question with a dad next to his daughter at a supermarket with a tutu on, they are off in some imaginary world…. So in this adult scenario the hat and glasses is a symbol of doing what you must to put a smile on your girls face. So put the biggest smile on your baby girls face. Maybe you have a littles picnic party where you have a group of littles that you take on a picnic party. As the daddy it would be your responsibility to do an allergy check – that may be a task for your submissive to find out; It would be your responsibility to pack the picnic for your little girls, games included. These games could be a game of dodgeball, or soccer, or hide and seek, tiggy, go fish, uno and so forth. Maybe you bring Mr snuggles along too, a giant stuffed bear that you won for your little at last years local show.

Maybe the drive to a café for ice-cream is used as a reward to incentivise your little to do all her tasks. She completes all of her tasks for said week and so you drive her to the café, buy her ice cream and enjoy an ice-cream cone with her. Tell her she has been a good girl this week and that if she keeps up the great work you’ll continue to be enjoying the ice cream together. This sentence alone will stir most littles crazy! All princesses want to be a good girl for daddy. Maybe I’m being naive here, I am only twenty-six, but for the right man would you agree every woman wants to be viewed as their man’s good girl? Am I right when I say that even ‘bad bitches’ will be good girls for the right man?

Conversely what if your little’s biological dad kept falling through on his word to take his daughter bowling. This may sound strange to some readers, but if you as the dominant knew this information and spontaneously planned and escorted her to a few dates of bowling it may have a wonderful healing affect. You may both create lasting memories for yourselves. Again, I am not a train psychologist, that is just a view point.

Maybe for a date night you plan to build a pillow castle out of chairs, a sheet, and pillows, ordering local Chinese food for dinner; creating the perfect palace for a few hours of story telling or to watch a movie that the little chooses. The stories don’t have to be childish either, you could incorporate adult themes into the stories, you are adults for fuck sake, yes you are playing at the inner child but that does not mean you need to revert back to being a complete an utter child with no competency. The movie you watch doesn’t have to be a Disney movie either it could be something like ‘She’s The Man’, or ‘The Princess Diaries’, ‘The Notebook’, or ‘Alvin & the Chipmunks’, or even ‘A Dogs Purpose’. She cuddles up to you in the make shift castle and you enjoy the movie like any other film – the princess cuddling her big teddy bear. Maybe you’re having sex for half of it, maybe your little really wants to watch the whole movie because it is their absolute favourite childhood movie and they want you to give them attention and affection in other ways like head & body tickles and warm comforting cuddles. Because not everything in life is about putting your cock inside of your partners pussy. Nail all four of those – watch whole movie, cuddles & body tickles, feelings of being a princess, and sex; and your chances of having a happy women increase quite a lot.

Maybe daddy is choosing the movie and decides that you are watching an ‘irresponsible’ movie like ‘300’, or ‘The Gentleman’, or ‘Kill Bill’, then she gets even more ‘scared’ and cuddles up to you more.

Maybe the experience of cuddles with her biological dad is exactly what she is missing, you would learn this through respectful communication; and so you putting on a G or PG movie that she use to watch alone while she cuddles up to you is highly appealing to her.

You’ve mentioned tasks a lot in this Questionable Kinks series and I’m still wondering what tasks are? Tasks are exactly that. They are chores and things that one must do to work towards a goal or for rewards. In a general dominant & submissive sense a task might be to perform cunnilingus on your dominant for two minutes everyday for the month, or to give your dominant a neck massage for ten minutes three times throughout the week. Completing these tasks or series of tasks should lead to some form of reward and/ or improvement for the submissive. If the dominant is not specific with the times the sub must do those acts the submissive might try to do all three neck massages in one day, or the cunnilingus for two minutes may be whenever the submissive feels like it. So as the dominant you must be clear with your instructions, because otherwise the submissive’s inner brat may test you. If you want to have cunnilingus for two minutes every morning before you jump out of bed you best make that clear.

So when we talk about tasks within a DDLG dynamic you will usually find that the daddy is setting tasks around improving his little in the area’s of life you have conferred. If your little wants to learn a new language you may set tasks around learning that language. For example always greeting each other with the new language, or having your submissive ask, “Where is the bathroom?” every time they need to go to the bathroom, or making sure they say, “Thank you” in the new language every time you do something for them, give them something as a gift, and so forth. This also means you as the daddy dominant may need to learn how to answer the question, “Where is the bathroom?” in said language to help your little girl know how to understand the new language. How could you as the dominant help your submissive memorise and learn the new skills?

Maybe your little is a bit lazy, she wants to do more exercise to stay fit and healthy, but she hates the standard gym and struggles with motivating herself. You may set the task that she has to do fifty sit ups, fifty squats, twenty assisted push ups every day, and go for a thirty minute fast paced walk twice a week – for conversations sake this time your submissive won’t try to brat out of the walks and wants to choose when she does them, perfectly fine. The incentive to do the exercises may be that you will do some baking with her at the end of the month because she really loves to bake. You as the daddy could go one step further and during that month find the banana bread recipe that you too are going to bake; maybe she already has an encyclopedia of recipes stashed in her cook book and you have to make the choice of whether or not you bake your recipe or hers this time. Remember there is always next time, this is her reward, and she may throw a little tantrum if she really wants to bake her recipe. Over the course of the next few months you may create a personalised workout for your submissive, where you include skipping ropes, maybe some light kettle bells, resistance bands, yoga and so forth. The reward for exceptional work over a three month period may be taking your little out for a day of pampering at a professional massage parlour, dry needling, a professional face cleanse, and salt bath – do you see where having time, money, and focus plays a pivotal role in providing some dominant & submissive services. And this is not to say that you can’t set sexual tasks or receive sexual rewards while experimenting or living this dynamic, but be an adult. Because I can not stress the importance of emotional & sexual intelligence that you must bring to all forms of kink. Because otherwise you really can find yourself in a horrible situation mentally, spiritually, and physically. With the right education; with respectful, open, honest, judgement free communication you can have a great HEALTHY kink dynamic.

Whether you join the community or just have a group of friends that are also into this kink lifestyle there are sexually based activities that can be had. Similar to the picnic’s you can have ‘sleep overs’, where a group of littles will stay at one littles place and play a variety of games, and participate in activities that may have been organised and over watched by the daddy. These activities could include baking some healthy muffins, building a fort out of pillows, putting a movie on for all to watch, maybe you read them a bed time story etc. Again you could read ‘The Hunger Games’, ‘Harry Potter’, or even ‘Erotic Writing by Lexx Soule’ and you would still generate the same affect.

So just a standard girlfriends night over?

Essentially yes. And if you have a husband or partner without labelling it a ‘DDLG’ that also cooks for you & your friends, and organises your girls sleep over, I’m going to dare say and take a guess that you jokingly saying, “Thanks daddy!” when he delivers the food. Maybe not, maybe it is, “Cheers babe”. Let’s not over complicate it, you are well aligned with your inner-selves if this is the case.

Should you be in a polyamorous relationship with the other littles and their daddy’s (if they have one) then goodnight may turn into a “Hey daddy, before we go to sleep can we all please play with your cock”. “THAT’S FUCKED UP!” You say.

See not exactly, because within the world of kink and BDSM, a HEALTHY daddy & little know that they are adults playing at an adult fantasy. Adult women would also love a good sleep over party. They get to gossip, show each other their new Peter Alexander PJ’s, do their nails, practice styling each other’s hair, drink wine, eat crackers and everything else. So when you convert an adult sleep over to a littles sleep over the only real differences may be as simple as the way the man is keeping track of the night, preparing the food for the littles, helping with the games, ensuring that the littles go to bed by a certain time. Maybe he doesn’t let them watch a movie that is over MA15+ because those ‘irresponsible’ movies are for daddy and his little only, he would hate to send the others home with nightmares. The littles may want to decorate each others nails, plat each others hair, run around the house screaming stupid sounds because one of the littles snuck in a bag of red frogs. NO COCAINE FOR LITTLES! (Girls love sugar. Just as much as they hate water. IYKYK). The whole time they are just wearing fully clothed cute Peter Alexander PJ’s. Do you see how done correctly you could create a littles sleep over where nothing insinuates an actual child’s sleep over. So when you get to bed time and your little(s) says “Can we please have your cock daddy” you feel comfortable knowing that you have ADULT women pleasuring you sexually. Again this is where emotional and sexual intelligence is paramount.

And look maybe you a have husband or partner that loves cooking for you and your friends, puts on a fire for you to gossip around while he sits inside, he puts up with everyone’s drunk behaviour late in the night, and you ladies play whatever games you so decide. FANTASTIC! You have a healthy relationship with your inner selves and have maintained ‘youthfulness’ if you will. May I ask though. Do you still drop a, “Thanks daddy” once in a while? Does the man know that he is the daddy. Are you still following with me?

I do believe in rare cases you could have a littles sleep over where you are monogamous and do not sexually play as a group. And I say rare because it requires a deep level of trust from your submissive, your dominant, and all the others involved. If you were a dominant who had agreed to the boundaries discussed between you & your little; that you cannot sexually play with anyone else and one of the other littles comes onto you or sneaks into your bed while you’re sleeping, what are you going to do?

Do you trust your submissive to call you & ask to be picked up if the ‘daddy’ at the sleep over is attempting to cross those boundaries or makes her feel uncomfortable?

Do you as a submissive trust yourself to say no if a daddy at another’s host was to come onto you? If that boundary had been openly discussed between those involved and he was crossing the line would you leave the sleep over straight away? Would you tell your man?

If you are monogamous and going to parties where cheating regularly occurs from other people? Why put yourself in that situation if you know what is going to happen.

If you are monogamous with your little or maybe polyamorous but your little has said no sexual play with the other littles for this particular event, she may throw a curve ball your way at bedtime and say, “Daddy, can we pretty please have your cock”, your job as a daddy is to see through the bullshit being tempted and say, “Um no” or, “Sure. You can have my cock when your friends leave tomorrow”. It’s the shit test, and she will get mad at you the next day if you give in because you broke the trust. There are numerous ways that the night could play out, respect each other, communicate and be adults. The DDLG dynamic can be so much fun. You get to be a part of IMPROVING your princesses life and helping them grow in the areas of life they desire. You have the opportunity to connect them respectfully to their inner child that can sometimes be lost through the tribulations that life throws every one’s way. There is a different glow on your woman’s face when she is your queen and when she is your princesses. Having a little princess can be so much fun and rewarding within an adult setting, just as having a good daddy can bring you a world of smiles & joy.

The MDLB & her prince (Little boy)

The MDLB is very similar to the DDLG dynamic except I believe as an adult man, being the little boy in the dynamic means that your behaviours and the things you want to do for fun are slightly different. “Obviously!”

He may have loved Hot Wheels cars growing up; he may have collected all the different track pieces to create the ultimate race track; he might have sat there for hours on end playing with his toy cars. But now that he is older and mature he does not have the enthusiasm to sit and watch a Hot Wheels car do a loop the loop followed by a jump. Please leave a comment or email me if you believe this to be wrong, but boys brains develop and mature a little differently as they grow into men to that of girls into woman. Where a girl could go through her entire life enjoying plush toys or tiny things; a boy may go from building and playing with a Hot Wheels cars set to playing the Hot Wheels video game, or just collecting the Hot Wheels cars, or learning how to drive a real super powered sports car. He has an added expectation to mature. If I made an Instagram page of me sitting with a Hot Wheels track, building it, playing with it and reviewing the cars in great detail I would be labelled as weird; conversely if a woman my age was to create a page talking about her plush toy collection, and walk throughs of her going to the shops to buy said collection she would be labelled as cute. Discursive note, as someone who has played the Hot Wheels video game for a creative project, I must say that game is pretty cool to play. If the Xbox was hooked up for pre-drinks with the boys Hot Wheels would easily come out; If you were a parent you could probably enjoy an hour of gaming with your kid even if you don’t like gaming yourself. Low key great game on a level!

Your man playing the role as little boy in the dynamic may have loved playing Nerf wars when he was younger, but now unless you have adulted the gameplay they may not be as interested – create some sparkle bombs or smoke bombs, add some beer. Maybe rather than Nerf, your little boy goes to paintball with mates to reconnect with that inner child. While paintball is enjoyed by everyone, it is a temporary distraction and escape from what a ‘man’ should be doing. His purpose, his work, his family duties. Hence the saying, “Boys & their toys”.

For men who may have been forced to grow up to fast and never experience a childhood, these vices and temporary distractions can play a role in helping them connect with that inner kid. While a man who was forced to grow up ‘too quick’ may not ever think of making a Hot Wheels track and watching it go loop the loop, he may find his inner child release & escape by playing video games – GTA could be the game; going to the local basketball courts by himself once in a while to shoot some hoots because he likes the sport as an adult but never had the opportunity to play or follow it as a kid; even fishing could be that thing that his dad never taught him and so now that he is a man he has found pleasure in that thing he always wanted to do growing up but couldn’t. Bringing your attention back to the loop the loop and Hot Wheels, there are a lot of scenes in TV shows and movies where a man loses touch with himself and reverts to these behaviours & emotions that he never experienced growing up. It even happens on a small scale with the billionaire in the movie ‘Pretty Woman’. I believe this demonstrates the importance of a childhood, so that when a man does go through a stage of losing or questioning who he is as a man he has a positive ‘vice’ that he may revert back to. For example he knows that playing with kids toys is for kids, but may go on a video gaming spree for a day or two while he solves his problems; or he goes for a ride on the push bike or BMX bike he has; maybe he just goes for a drive to a significant location. “What’s the difference between playing with toys to think and playing video games” you ask. The stages of being a kid for males. A thirteen-year-old is a kid, but will enjoy video games the exact same way a twenty-eight year old man would enjoy video games (maybe different games of course). Though both the thirteen-year-old and twenty-eight year will most likely find playing with toys a seven year old plays with very boring.

When it comes to task setting, the roles & systems of the MDLB & the DDLG are similar, though the rewards and punishments may be different (as mentioned above). Your little boy may want to learn another language, so like previously mentioned in The DDLG section you put steps in place to help them learn the language. “Hey, how was your day?”, “Where is the toilet?”, “Please & Thank you”; using rewards and punishments to encourage your submissive boy to keep learning and speaking in the other languages. Maybe your little boy wants to become a black belt in a martial art so you set the task for him to find a corresponding dojo to said martial art that he likes and would enjoy training at. Then to keep him consistent you buy him five new Hot Wheels cars every month that he does not miss a training session – if collecting Hot Wheels cars are his thing. There is a huge difference between collecting cars and playing with cars. Having the right collection can be a huge financial asset. Think about Gary V and how he collects I think it’s baseball or NFL cards. As punishment you take his Xbox away from him when he misses 25% or more of training sessions, or maybe giving you a foot bath & foot massage is adequate punishment. Maybe one area of your boys life that he wants to improve is his sense of fashion, so you go window shopping and help him style an outfit or two that you buy as a reward when he hits a target. Maybe you’re his financial dominant as well and the outfits are tied to financial goals & rewards.

While mummy’s play a nurturing role I personally believe if you are to embrace and label yourself within this kink dynamic that mummy’s should be pushing their little boy to become more of an independent, better man. That way you have a man who can handle himself, and still come to you when he needs a moment or two of being a teddy bear. And yes, I suppose to some extent the same could be said for a daddy & his girl. The history books talk about a lot of ancient rulers who taught their women how to be strong & independent, but they were still princesses.

Most boys & men likely crave the nurturing touch of the feminine - mummy. That soft gentle hand running through your hair as you lay your head in her lap, that warm cuddle and soft gliding of her fingers down your arm while you lay watching a movie, those forehead and cheek kisses that infect the mind, having your body and hair washed in the shower, maybe he just wants to roll his head over in his mummy’s lap and suck on mummy’s nipples – I actually feel cringe typing that last sentence. Thankfully I have the emotional intelligence to know where I’m going with this. There are a lot of men who would love all of the acts mentioned above without the label of being MDLB, because while a man can be a big, tough, weapon of destruction there are usually a couple or handful of women that can bring out the biggest teddy bear. These women are usually daughters, wives/ great girlfriends, and mothers. Like mentioned in the DDLG section there are some girls who made their dad put on a princess fairy costume and play tea cup party. When a man loves his wife or girlfriend so much that he would go to the end of the earth for her he will be a big softy at times. And mothers, well they brought you into this life. It’s funny to hear the number of men who know the relationship I have with my mother, and have told me I won’t hate my mother forever because she brought me into this world. I find their comments very intriguing.

The nurturing touch and love that a mother is supposed to provide her children at a young age makes a child feel safe, loved, and cared for. So when an adult female partner plays the role of this feminine with these nurturing acts the man receives that feeling of love, safety, and being cared for, he can escape into a more peaceful state of being. No war, no destruction, no conquering, no problems. Just the pureness of what is supposed to be unconditional love. This is where a man could have some level of trauma associated with his mother on a minor – moderate possibly even high scale. What if he never received a warm welcoming I love you buddy hug; what if his only memories are being told from the age of four to get off when all he wanted was to put his head on the lap of the woman who birthed him and receive some head scratches; what if he has never experienced a mum tucking him into bed and saying, “Goodnight buddy, I love you”. He may become hyper masculine, and he may also love when he finds a woman who he can rest his head on while she gives him head tickles.

The woman playing the role of mummy doesn’t need to be a messed up crazy woman craving the love of her innocent child again either. She doesn’t need to be depressed that she can’t have children of her own. And she doesn’t need to pretend that her thirty-year-old husband is laying on the couch pretending he is an infant sucking for milk. I am aware that some woman who lose their child or may become infertile and crave raising a child so much that they can become psychologically ill, and so nurturing someone may sometimes aid in the healing process. Obviously without a great deal of experience and knowledge on this distinct subject I will not comment at length, because in these circumstances there would need to be psychological assistance through the process. Likewise if you were a grown man wanting to revert back to infancy and pretend you’re sucking on ‘mummy’s’ breast for milk, I can’t comment, personally I think that’s fucked up and psychological assistance should be attained. Anyone who wants to revert back to infancy for any pleasure does need psychological assistance.

 If a woman thoroughly enjoys giving gifts, has a nurturing personality, likes to be a leader, then she may thoroughly enjoy being the dominant that leads her little boy. If she is someone who aspires to have children of her own one day this might be a way for her to test out some of her skills e.g. keeping your little in a schedule, helping them stay focused towards their goals, teaching them how to cook, how fair are your punishments and rewards, and so on. She may not want kids but like a lot of women still has that deep-rooted desire to care for something and/ or someone, so she may very well love having a little boy to improve and raise.

Why is it socially more accepted for girls to say daddy than boys to say mummy?

I personally believe it comes down to the traditional belief that boys need to grow up and learn to become men while girls can stay princesses even when they are queens.

If you are on a sinking boat who typically gets saved first. The children & the women.

If someone comes up to a man and women while they are out, who is expected to solve the issue? The man. Even if the woman is a black belt in Karate she is going to at least expect her man to have some competency to try deescalate, exit or solve the situation before she kicks the crap out the intruder. Like previously mentioned there were some ancient rulers who taught their women the way of man, the women were trained how to fight, how to bid & negotiate, how to handle a weapon, how to take a punch, and the art of war. So if there was a modern day father who ensured his daughter was a black belt and would vivisect any person who dare present a threat to her, and she just so happens to fall in love with a man who may not be a skilled fighter but can handle his own to an extent, there would respectfully be no issues with the relationship from my perspective. I say all of this because I do not want a red pill dipshit or extreme feminist jumping to conclusions about what I am trying to say.

Biologically and in a lot of traditional history the boys have been expected to grow up, fight their wars, deal with their problems, while the women could respectfully be princesses most of their life. I do not raise this to start conflict, only state scientific fact to give reasoning to the debate of the term, ‘Daddy’ being generally more accepted then, ‘Mummy’.

So just as a daddy may say to his little, “You love when daddy feeds you his cock don’t you”, there are theoretically no issues with a man sucking a woman’s breast and her saying, “Does mummy’s nipple feel good in your mouth”. Obviously providing all are comfortable and consenting with those words and phrases. There are plenty of women who do not like the term daddy, there are plenty of men who do not like the term mummy. Please bring emotional, and sexual intelligence to any form kink or dynamic; if need be look for a sexologist that you feel comfortable with. If you can’t be an adult, if you can’t think for yourself then either do the work, do the research to educate yourself; or do not enter kink. Because will you hurt someone else or yourself.

Have you started to put the pieces together how being in a HEALTHY dominant and submissive DDLG or MDLB dynamic has a lot of psychological benefits to both the dominant and submissive. The basis of this dom sub dynamic is usually focused a little more on improving the person as a whole, and for a lack of a better term ‘raising’ the person. While there are different sexual components that can appear perverted, that is kinky fun. I believe the real benefits and fun of this dynamic are had when you put an emphasis on the other elements outside of the sex. You will have couples and people who just call each other, ‘daddy’, ‘baby girl’, ‘sexy mumma’, ‘mummy’ for some fun, they may not even be in a kink dynamic or even know about the kink lifestyle. And yes of course you may switch roles at different times, for example one month one person is the dominant and one is the submissive. Maybe for three months you are the little to your daddy but one afternoon daddy doesn’t feel like being daddy for a few hours and needs to be nurtured. Bring some intelligence and you can have a lot of fun.

The lines & social issues

Obviously there are a great deal of stigma’s and social issues that are associated to this kink and relationship dynamic. Look if you’re smart enough, or within the scene/ community you’ll know the sorts of problems that could arise, and how some people may take things to the extreme and cross that line – a couple examples have been given throughout the literature. Rather than give you my full insight, you should do some thinking for yourself. I will prompt some of the issues and extremities within this dynamic and let you be an adult to make your own conscious choices whether this dynamic may be fun to explore or damaging.

The age play; do you already have a negative relationship with things like ‘Teen’, ‘daddy’, ‘mummy’ porn and the rabbit holes that they can take you down, school girl and teacher, would you enjoy pretending to be an infant with a nappy? There are not a lot of kinks that I judge, that last one does raise my eyebrows. Do you understand the line? Where do you draw the line?

Incest behaviours; I jelq and have exercises for my penis, and as a man who finds older women attractive it is very hard to find a x-rated film of an older woman without some form of step-this, or without words within the clip referring to some dirty shit. Do you like older women? Do you watch porn? I dare say that you would be seeing a very similar thing? While some guys I have talked to over my time about porn say that they have control of their vices and comfortably joke about the step, there are a very large portion that do not have control. And even industry professionals (sex, psychology, relationships, and human behaviour) talk about the effects of the porn you consume.

So when you put all of those negative relationships together, you have one giant negative relationship that can do a lot of damage to everyone. Do you understand what I am trying to say now when I say that kink, can encourage emotional and sexual intelligence. Right from wrong. And has benefits to improving yourself and others. But if done poorly, with no intelligence, no desire to learn, and without respect, without communication, and immaturity, you will land yourself & others in psychological, spiritual, and physical trouble.

This has been a great blog to write, and I hope that you have learnt something. If you wish to continue exploring the different worlds of kink, dominant & submissive dynamics, BDSM, Tantra then I encourage you to do the research and take the necessary steps to a HEALTHY, FUN, SEXUALLY FULLFILLING, ADULT life. Take things slow, stay safe, stay sane, be consensual.

If you have any further questions please just email lexxsoule@gmail.com or leave a comment below.

Warmest regards,

L. Soule.