21st of August 2024 Today I broke my $obriety
Share21st of August 2024 Today I broke my $obriety
After an absoultely horrible couple days with flatness / depression. Feeling like my business was just an illusion and like everything doomed to fail.
First in the morning i bought cigarettes, it tasted and smelt awful so i taped them up and threw them in the top cupboard.
I bailed on seeing someone I care about at the gym, and after day sleeping for a couple hours, I put the bottle of prosecco I said I'd never drink in the fridge and just ordered 6 more bottles from BWS.
I intend to smoke the cigarettes because I want them gone and it was money I didn't have to spend also they make me smell awful and I can't be a high-class escort and stink.
They will be less gross if I'm drunk, I know it all will give me anxiety but today I don't care. This is a journey and I'm proud of myself for making it exactly one month and 5 days without both of them.
If I beat myself up, I'll never get healthy.
I made it this far because I was kind to myself, I intend to take that with me, each time i fall down i get tougher and learn something more. I think if more of us were kinder to ourselves, more of us would quit things that are toxic for us in the long run. And that is the goal the long run to be healthy and happy. Today im not so healthy but im a hell of a lot better than what i was a month ago. Baby steps.
xXx CRY$T@L
Comment from David mc
good on you crystal
addiction is a big powerfull monster that seems to sense fear depression and anxiety
so it can slowly chip away
Reply from CRYSTAL ROSE
thank u appreciate it I'm not sober now and smoking again but I will quit again very soon
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